Fluent in Love - How we speak the language of the heart...

Do you know your love language?? Its not like learning Italian or French (though, wouldn't that be lovely? ). Love languages are how we connect with others and, as I've discovered, how we connect with ourselves. For me, understanding my love language was the first step on my self-love journey.

Let me share my story, but first a quick recap for anyone who hasn't yet falled down the love language rabbit hole. Dr. Gary Chapmans five love languages explain how we give and receive love:

1. Word of Affirmation: Kind words, heartfelt compliments, or a simple "You're amazing" light you up.

2. Acts of Service: Someone making you a cup of coffee or fixing your squeaky door feels like a big warm hug.

3. Receiving Gifts: Its not about money - it's the thoughtfulness behind the gesture, like a handwritten note or your favourite snack.

4. Physical Touch: Hugs, hand-holding, or even a comforting pat on the shoulder make you feel seen and loved.

5. Quality time: Undivided attention, meaningful conversations, and shared experiences are what you crave. (spoiler alert: this one's mine.)

   
   

Here's the kicker: we all have all five within us, but one always stands out. For me, that''s quality time - and it's not only how i connect with others. It's how i finally learned to connect with myself and began my self-love journey.

A few years ago, I was feeling drained. Life felt like a never ending to-do-list: work, home, walk dog, errands, social obligations, repeat. I was giving so much away to everyone else but leaving nothing for myself. I didn't even realise how much it was draining me until one day a friend suggested we take our dogs for a walk.

it was such a simple idea, and something i did daily, but that day it felt like a breath of fresh air - literally and figuratively.

We met on a sunny Saturday, leashes in hand, and wondered through the park. The dogs were thrilled, of course, darting around like furry tornadoes. We stopped for coffee (and chai for me, because, let's be real, chai is practically my sixth love language), found a sunny spot to sit, and just talked.

No phones. No distractions. Just two friends, two happy dogs, and the kind of conversation that feels like balm for the soul. We laughed until our sides hurt, swapped stories, and soaked in the sun with nowhere else to be. For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt truly present - not just with my friend, but with myself, and knew instantly that this was my love language, something i actually learnt about a year later in my coaching journey, because that moment filled my cup in every way possible, and i didn't want it to end.

Here's what hit me that day: I'd been so busy trying to check every box and please everyone that i'd forgotten about me. That afternoon of quality time with my friend reminded me of what was missing - my own presence.

I realised that self-love isn't about spa days or splurging on fancy treats (although those are lovely too). It's about showing up for yourself in the way that mattersmost to you. For me, that means carving out time to just be: sipping chai while journalling, walking in nature without my phone, or sitting in the sun and letting my thoughts wander, Those moments of presence fill my heart in a way nothing else can.

If you're wondering what your love language is, its easy. You can take the official quiz (Google it - iit'severywhere), but honestly, the clues are already in your life. Think about what makes you feel truly appreciated. Is it a thoughful note ot text (Words of affirmation)? Someone doing the dishes for you (Acts of Service)? Or maybe it's sitting with a friend and having a heart to heart(Quality Time)?

Once you know start using it as a guide - for how others can love you, how you can love others and for how you can love yourself. Your love language is like a road map to your own heart.

That day in the park was the beginning of my self-love journey. It taught me that i don't need grand gestures or extravagant plans to feel loved. I just need time - time to connect, to laugh, to breathe, to just be. And if that time happens to include a chai, well, that's just the cherry on top.

Understanding the love languages of others and sharing your own can truly transform every relationship in your life. But the most profound transformation comes from knowing your own love language and embracing it fully - it's the ultimate act of self-love and the foundation for every connection you build.

Sooooo whats your love language?....let me know in the comments....

All My Love xx